


Covert Love II

by parkjinchu



Series: Covert Love [2]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: AND ITS A LOT LONGER BUT ITS SO CUTE, AND LOTS OF CUTE ROMANCE, Fluff, IT INVOLVES COMING OUT AND BEING SCARED, M/M, THIS IS THE NEXT PART
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 14:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9552233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkjinchu/pseuds/parkjinchu
Summary: Through the span of a few weeks, Dongmin goes over the struggles of keeping a romantic relationship a secret. Along the way, he discovers more ways to love, and more of those who love. Though - isn't that a secret, too?this is a work of fiction, and in no way represents the real lives of astro's members. in case of astro/fantagio/reasonable fan request, this fic will be taken downread full disclaimer on my profile





	

**Author's Note:**

> so this is PART TWO of the covert love series and I REALLY recommend reading them in order (theres another one coming soon hahaha) as theyre of the same story, but this one relies on a lot of info from the first, so if you havent read it yet you can read it by clicking [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9469544). i hope you enjoy and comment if youd like to see more bc i really love writing astro fics??

The snow melts before it hits the ground, leaving the concrete wet and gutters slushy. Dongmin wraps his coat tighter around himself, and lets Sanha and Moonbin slide into the van before him. The car smells of sweat and is filled with the sounds of teeth chattering, but Dongmin wouldn’t have it any other way. This was how their group worked – hard, and it gave them many rewards.

Moonbin sits beside him, humming along to the music in his earphones. Dongmin wonders what he’s listening too; he seems peaceful in this moment.

Jinwoo unlocks the dorm room door, holding it open for everyone. Dongmin takes no time, quickly hurrying inside and peeling his coat off his shoulders and hooking it up on the rack. Bin comes up beside him, a soft and ever-present smile on his face. His glasses are perched on the end of his nose, and Dongmin smiles back. Their coats rest side by side, and Moonbin opens their bedroom door and gently leads the two of them inside.

His hand rests on the small of Dongmin’s back. The blood rushes to Dongmin’s cheeks, as he feels Bin’s warm fingers splay out above the middle of his hips, t-shirt the only thing separating his palm from pressing flush against his skin. Dongmin savours these few seconds, wondering when he’ll get the same feeling again.

“Bin, I’m going to have a shower,” Dongmin tells him as he throws his backpack on the bottom bunk.

“Sanha’s in there now, though,” Moonbin replies, climbing up onto the top bunk. He unplugs his earphones and lets his music play aloud. It’s a song Dongmin hasn’t heard before, an English one. He’s too tired to concentrate on what the lyrics mean, at the moment, but he’ll be sure to ask what the song is later on.

The black haired boy groans, throwing his head back in exasperation. “I just want to go to bed,” he whimpers, running a hand through his hair. He steps over to his drawers and retrieves his facial washes, and gets to work applying them to his cheeks. He can feel Bin’s gaze occasionally falling on him, but he ignores it. He must be projecting his feelings – he can see Moonbin’s tired and puffy face in the mirror.

Dongmin likes Moonbin. Or, Dongmin _loves_ Moonbin. He loves the curve over his nose and under his jaw. He loves the passion in Bin’s eyes, when he looks at him through the mirror at dance practice – sweaty and exhausted but exhilarated. Dongmin loves the way his hair moves when he laughs, or when he’s eaten all he can and Moonbin will happily eat the rest. He loves that Bin could sleep forever, and it’s always an effort to wake the boy up. He loves everything about Moonbin, from his perfections to his flaws.

Though, this is a secret he will keep with him for evermore. Locked away in his heart, he refuses to let his feelings for Bin be noticed. He’s worried that on occasion, his passion for Bin is so rampant and wild that it slips through the cracks in his persona anyway – but he tries his best to hide his feelings.

“Dongmin!” Bin suddenly calls, holding his phone out for him. “Look at this cute video of a cat!!” He cries, shaking the screen in front of Dongmin’s face. It was a cute video, and Dongmin blushed at Moonbin’s excitement. It suddenly launched a conversation about cats, which then twisted and turned until they held general conversation. This happened every night – and Dongmin wouldn’t exchange it for the world.

Sometimes, Dongmin wonders how he’d confess if he ever decided too. He imagines a lonely beach with a pink and yellow sunrise, and cold sand. Or, a quiet rooftop in the middle of the hot city, with buildings towering over them and potted plants supplying some sort of fresh air. Or, side by side in a hotel room, looking out at the stars, under the tranquil moon.

He can’t decide what he’ll say, and he’s too scared to even picture Moonbin’s reaction. He leaves it at the scenery and the feeling of fleeting bravery in his heart.

Moonbin is laying on his stomach, chin resting over the edge of the bunkbed. Dongmin sits on the desk chair, one leg propped up and his arms secured around it. They can’t see each other if Dongmin lies on the lower bunkbed – though one day he’d suggested Bin just join him but the boy had laughed and dismissed the thought as a joke. Dongmin had felt so embarrassed he wanted to curl up into a ball and cry.

In the lounge room, Sanha can be heard giving fake critiques to a dance move Minhyuk has been trying to wrap his head around for days. He’s not helping at all – but Minhyuk sounds like he’s having fun, anyway, laughing and stomping around the living space. Myungjun is singing to himself in the room beside this one, along to a song Dongmin heard on the radio on the way home. He hears his leader Jinwoo leave the bathroom, pausing in the hall before opening his own bedroom door, gently shutting it behind him.

“I wish I was good at writing lyrics,” Moonbin says as the conversation continues to flow down different paths. “Jinwoo and Minhyuk write such nice lyrics – I’d love to be able to express my feelings in such a nice way.” He smiles softly, looking down at Dongmin. His eyes are sparkling and the bridge of his nose is dusted a pink colour. He uses his index finger to push his glasses further up his nose.

“I’m sure with practice, you’d be amazing,” the older boy replies, shrugging. “I understand, though – it is quite hard to translate your feelings into words. Especially poems,” he mutters with a wave of his hand. He’s tried many times to write lyrics about Moonbin – he’s liked him for almost as long as they’ve known each other.

_“Wow, you’re really good at dancing, Moonbin!” Dongmin cheers, applauding the boy from the entrance of the practice room. They’d only known each other a few weeks, still awkwardly stumbling over and assessing the boundaries of their friendship._

_Moonbin gasps, face bright red. Dongmin reckons he must be exhausted, having pushed himself so hard. “O-Oh, thank you, Dongmin,” He stutters, grabbing his water bottle and taking a long swig._

_“Can you show me how?” The older boy asks, intrigued by the way he moves. Quickly, yet smoothly and flawlessly._

_“Ah, s-sure,” Moonbin smiles cheerily, eyes lifting into crescents like moons._

_He walks Dongmin through the steps, watching over him through the mirror. He critiques his movements, using his hands to guide his body in the right direction. His hands are warm, and tingling on his skin. At one point, Moonbin has his hands on Dongmin’s hips, turning them to the side. Through the mirror, Dongmin catches a glimpse of their position, and blushes furiously._

_They look like a couple. He stares for a moment, hearing Bin’s gentle voice but not quite listening. He smiles to himself, letting the image stain the inside of his brain._

He still thinks about it sometimes.

The noise in the lounge has softened. “Do you think I can go for a shower?” Bin wonders aloud. He climbs down the ladder, grabbing a towel on his way out, smiling at Dongmin as he shuts the door behind him.

Dongmin is in love, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

 

+

The alarm buzzes under his pillow, pulling Dongmin into consciousness. Slowly, he wakes up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and patting at his puffy cheeks. Dongmin turns his phone on, glancing at the time, _5:02_. His eyes fall to his lock screen, a photo of he and Moonbin, _best friends_. He smiles softly, almost sadly, and stands to wake the boy up.

Moonbin is curled up under his blankets, right cheek squashed into the pillow and up into his face. His lips are open and pouting, chest rising and falling slowly as he breathes softly. His eyelids flutter slightly as he dreams, and Dongmin wonders what he could be dreaming about. Moonbin’s fingers clutch at the sheets, twitching gently.

Softly running his hand over Moonbin’s shoulder, Dongmin attempts to draw him from his slumber. “Binnie…” He calls softly, standing up on his tip toes. He taps his cheek softly, giving it a gentle pinch, “It’s time to wake up, Binnie,” he mutters. Moonbin, ever the heavy sleeper, only gently stirs.

Dongmin loves watching Moonbin sleep. He looks peaceful, and small, like a baby. Unfortunately, he can’t stick around and wait for the baby to rest up. Running his hands through Bin’s hair, Dongmin keeps calling his name, until Moonbin slowly opens his eyes.

“Good morning,” he croaks, voice husky from the sleep. Dongmin blushes, retracting his hand from Bin’s hair.

“Good morning,” he replies, grabbing Bin’s glasses from the nightstand and handing them over. Moonbin smiles appreciatively, sliding them on. He grins when his clear focus lands on Dongmin, and the older boy can feel his heart beat faster in his chest. “Let’s go make some coffee for everyone, yeah?” he mutters, peeling the blankets off Moonbin’s curled up body.

The boy groans softly in reply, but climbs down the ladder anyway, muttering about how he wished he never joined the coffee club in high school and learnt how to make nice coffee. He makes it anyway, preparing a sweet one for Dongmin first before himself. They rest against the counter tops, sipping at their warm drinks and holding idle chatter between them until someone else wakes up.

Sanha walks in after a few minutes, refusing a coffee and pouring himself a glass of water. Dongmin watches as the young boy hoists himself onto the bench, swinging his feet in the air. A few minutes later, Minhyuk follows, messy bedhead stuck up in all directions. He politely asks for a coffee and sinks into a seat by the counter.

Myungjun trails out of the four-person bedroom, gently shutting the door shut behind him. The chatter in the kitchen is at a normal volume, now, and he skips over to where Moonbin stands beside Dongmin. “Can you make Jinwoo and I a coffee, each, please, Mr. Moon?” He grins, fluttering his eyelashes at the younger boy.

Moonbin smiles and asks how he would like them. Myungjun instantly rattles off the exact way Jinwoo likes his coffee, making Dongmin smile.

As he waits, the eldest leaps onto the counter and plays with his fingers and the ends of his hair. He has purple colouring under his eyes, and sagging cheeks. At one point, he lifts his head to stretch a yawn from his throat. He mustn’t have gotten much sleep.

“Hey, Myungjun,” Sanha calls, lifting his head from his phone. “You should train the leader to wake up earlier, you know? He is our leader, after all. Shouldn’t he be up before these two early risers?” The youngest boy vaguely gestures at Dongmin and his roommate, making a blush crawl over Dongmin’s cheeks. He lowers his head, glancing into his mug at the coffee that is slowly cooling.

“I know, I know,” the eldest replies with a wave of his hand. “Let him rest; I’m sure you’d all rest longer if you could,” he smiles sweetly, not without a flick in the middle of Sanha’s forehead. He takes the two mugs of fresh coffee and ducks away into the bedroom again. Dongmin doesn’t miss the faint uttering of, “JinJin?” as he calls for the leader. It makes Dongmin smile.

It felt weird to hear the boys call each other by their stage names, in the dorm. Though, it did make his heart flutter thinking about the few times Bin ever had. When they first met, and he’d muttered _Cha Eunwoo_ with uncertainty; when they’d film for an interview or something similar, and he’d chant _Eunwoo_ like a mantra. That one night – when Bin muttered in his sleep, of dancing and _Cha Eunwoo_.

 

+

“Okay, Moon Bin, we’ll need you over here with Lee Dongmin,” the photographer calls, waving his hand. Moonbin slides closer to Dongmin’s side, tilting his head so it follows the curve of Dongmin’s neck. He lifts his arm, crossing it over the older boy’s shoulder, letting his hand dangle over the sharp turns of Dongmin’s collarbones. If Dongmin concentrates hard enough, he can feel the beating of the boy’s heart, pressing against his shoulder in a fast rhythm.

Ever grateful that the layers of make-up and the dozens of studio lights hide any blush the covers his cheeks, Dongmin smiles softly. The photographer, whose name he’s forgetting, cheers him on, thanking him for sending the camera a smile – but it wasn’t for the camera, anyway.

They continue to play together, chuckling and muttering playful-nothings to each other, the camera snapping away at its sudden jackpot. Sanha and Minhyuk watch from the darkness, hidden behind equipment and crew. The youngest one watches on intently, taking note of their movements. Dongmin can feel the boy’s eyes focusing on their every move – he feels out of place.

As they finish up, Sanha catches up to them, joking, “Are you a couple? Did that turn you on?” He giggles, quoting something he’d said in the past about Dongmin and Jinwoo (which had made the leader flush terribly and scurry away, if Dongmin remembers correctly). Minhyuk chuckles, and Moonbin ruffles the previously perfectly styled curls upon his head.

“The perfect ‘soap’ couple must play for the fans,” he giggles, turning over his shoulder to flash a smile at Dongmin. Dongmin feels his heart, heavy in his chest, begin to crack at his words. Fan-service, a play, an act. He had known this was all their romance would ever consist of, or amount too, and that’s another reason why he kept his feelings locked away.

He can almost hear the sound of his heart creating the dainty, hairline cracks, a sound resembling Moonbin’s hearty laugh. Dongmin gently smiles back, a half-hearted curve pasted on his pink lips.

They enter the dressing room, where Myungjun and Jinwoo are already seated side by side, passing the leader’s phone between them as they take turns at a platform game. Upon the younger’s arrival, they immediately begin to pack away their things, the manager instructing the four of them to do the same.

As the youngest three chase each other around the dressing room, slowly packing away their things, Dongmin notices the absence of his leaders. Their back packs are gone, too, but the manager doesn’t seem to be bothered. Dongmin feels a presence behind him, turning around to become face to face with a worried looking Bin.

“Dongminnie, are you okay?” He asks, a hand falling onto his bicep, rubbing gently. Dongmin feels his lungs tighten at the nickname, pulling his hat on to disguise the blush sliding up his neck and cheeks. “You look upset. Are you tired?” Moonbin’s face is swollen with worry, bottom lip pulled under by his top teeth, a white colour blossoming from biting too hard.

“Oh, yeah, I was just wondering where Jinwoo and Myungjun ran off too,” he spares a half-hearted smile, tugging his coat on over his sweater. He pulls it over his shoulder, reaching over to push the first button into the first loop, when two warm hands stop him.

Moonbin pulls the coat tighter around Dongmin’s ribcage, securing it tightly and patting his chest gently. “Don’t want our precious Dongmin getting a cold, now, do we?” He smiles, eyes curved into thin slits, rosy cheeked and shining.

Dongmin doesn’t know how to reply, and Bin’s hands slowly move away and back to clutching on his own backpack straps, a sheepish smile on his lips. “T-Thank you, Binnie,” he manages, a cheery smile making its way onto his face despite the aching feeling in his chest.

In the car on the way to the performance studio, Moonbin sings along to the radio with Sanha. He’s squashed between them, trying to keep himself distracted from the intense feeling of rejection whirling around in his brain. He glances over at Jinwoo, who stares at the sleeping Myungjun behind him, a distant look of yearning in his eyes.

Dongmin wonders, for a moment, if Jinwoo has ever felt the same way he feels right now – or, if he’s feeling it, too. Dongmin had only ever met one other person like him… One other person that felt this way about someone of the same gender. It felt too far-fetched to believe that his leader felt this way for his senior, so Dongmin tucks the thought into the furthest corner of his mind, and focuses on the scuffs on Minhyuk’s shoes, instead.

 

+

Piercing screams sparkle in Dongmin’s ears, as fans chant their names, alongside the names of all the other groups that swarm the stage with them now. ASTRO stick out like a sore thumb, tucked into pastel pink school uniforms, a contrast among the dark concept the others seemed to decide on without them. Someone holding a large camera is directing the mess of people around the stage, and Dongmin would feel lost if not for the arm holding tightly onto his bicep.

Eyes trailing over the owner of the warm hand, Dongmin recognises the shape of Moonbin, and looks up to see his bright smile and eyelids curved into thin crescents like the moon; his signature smile. _A puppy_ , Dongmin thinks. _He resembles a puppy_.

Below the lights, Bin’s cheeks appear pink, under a thin sheen of shining sweat. “I got lost, and a little claustrophobic,” the younger boy confesses, bringing his other hand to clutch at Dongmin’s elbow. “I figured I’d find you – my safety net,” he grins.

 _Safety net_.

Dongmin nods, concealing his blush beneath his thick, dark hair, peering down at his shoes. What does safety net even mean? Lifting his head, Dongmin sneaks a glance at the gorgeous boy beside him. A shining sun, a glittering moon among the stars; this is how Lee Dongmin sees Moonbin. Dongmin feels flattered that Moonbin sees him as someone to confide in, to trust in wholeheartedly – but it feels like he’s fallen short.

Moonbin smiles widely at him, completely unaware of the mess of thoughts entangled around the edges of Dongmin’s brain, pressing it’s spikes in like it was caught in barbed wire.

In a time of need, Dongmin would seek out Jinwoo – but he’s got his arm looped with the boy of his dreams, and he’s surrounded on every side by colleagues. Besides, casting a glance in his leader’s direction, the man seems lost, dazed, even. His usually serene face is replaced with a delicate frown fixed upon his lips, and his eyebrows curving downwards. Dongmin wonders what’s wrong, when the cameraman counts down from five.

“Smile, Dongminnie,” Bin calls, staring down at him, a soft look upon his features, as if he’d been distracted, too.

 

+

“Don’t eat too quickly, Binnie,” Dongmin calls, handing Moonbin a plateful of take-out food, piled high. The boy waves him off, snatching up a pair of chopsticks, digging in before he’s even seated at the table. “You’ll feel ill again,” he warns, taking his place beside Moonbin. Their feet sit side-by-side underneath the table, Bin’s shoes occasionally shuffling against Dongmin’s own.

“No way,” Bin replies, grinning with a mouthful of noodles falling from his lips. Strangely enough, the sight still makes Dongmin’s heart beat faster as their eyes meet. “I have a stomach of steel. I could eat forever!” He cheers, emphasising his point by tucking a large portion into his mouth.

“This is delicious, Jinwoo. Can we get take out here again, next time?” Myungjun mutters, and conversation settles over the table. The chatter twists and turns down many different lanes, until suddenly, the group is discussing love.

Dongmin is honest with himself – he’s only ever loved two people. When he was a child, he fell in love with his next door neighbour, a short boy who loved basketball and could count to one hundred, which was fairly impressive when one was young. Dongmin had adored him, always asking to play together, just to spend more time with him. Eventually, before Dongmin could confess anything, his neighbour moved house, and out of the city.

During his years in school, Dongmin strictly avoided romance of any sort. He feared his orientation, shoving his feelings into the back of his mind, stamping them down. The more he tamped the fire down in his heart, the more the burnt embers weighed heavily in his chest. Dongmin felt pain throughout high school, watching romances flourish between his peers, when he didn’t believe he could ever what he wanted, too.

He wanted a real romance, with a pretty boy who loved him, too.

Then, came Moonbin. Hilarious, gorgeous, insanely talented and very smart. He was Dongmin’s dream lover, everything he’d wanted and more, wrapped neatly in a winter coat and scoffing down noodles beside him.

Minhyuk interrupts his thoughts – “I have no inspiration for writing love lyrics,” he complains, slurping up a noodle. “I’ve only confessed to one person before, and I haven’t fallen in love with anybody else!” He cries, tugging gently on his hair.

“So youthful,” Myungjun mutters to Jinwoo, who laughs heartily.

“At least you’ve experienced a confession! I’ve never confessed to anyone,” Sanha chuckles, hiding his smile behind his hand cheekily. After a moment he shrugs, “But, you have written love lyrics before – in fact, you and Jinwoo both write a lot of lyrics. Jinwoo, have you ever confessed to anyone before?” Sanha asks, raising an eyebrow. Dongmin watched the youngest boy, who waited anxiously for the answer coming.

Shaking his head, Jinwoo giggles. “No, but I’ve been confessed too,” he says, eyes going distant and a small smile growing on his face. All attention is turned to the leader, watching on as he seems to reminisce. The youngest four all giggle, oohing and ah-ing at him.

Suddenly, a small yelp is heard and Jinwoo jumps in his seat. His eyes widen, staring directly at Myungjun, who has a wide, mocked smile pasted on his lips and eyebrows raised almost to his hairline. Dongmin can’t decipher what’s going on, but oddly enough, Myungjun seems mad. A deep red blush trickles over Jinwoo’s face, and he looks away.

“You two, are you okay?” Bin asks, seeming worried. His hand falls on the table beside Dongmin’s, and he wants nothing more than to place his hand over Bin’s upturned palm, lacing their long fingers together. Knowing his can’t, his hand itches over the table cloth.

“We’re fine,” Myungjun chuckles, taking another bite of food. “I accidentally kicked him under the table – I didn’t think anyone would confess to Jinwoo. I was surprised,” he answers, half-chewed food muffling his words.

Laughter falls around the table, and Dongmin accepts Myungjun’s words. He can imagine Jinwoo getting confessed too, however – possibly a shy girl in the grade below him, handing him a pink envelope with drawn hearts around the border. It’s a nice thought. He imagines himself giving one to Moonbin, but figures it’s a little too girly.

He thinks he may have watched too many romantic dramas, as of late, if he can imagine himself confessing in such a way to Bin. Maybe Jinwoo watches too many dramas – he tells the group this. The rest of the group chuckle, and Jinwoo agrees, a shy smile on his lips. After they clean up, Jinwoo and Myungjun immediately retreat to their bedroom, as per usual.

Sanha and Minhyuk lag behind in the living room, pulling out a board game. Sanha offers to Bin and Dongmin if they’d like to play, too. Moonbin turns over his shoulder, asking the older boy if they should play.; as if he couldn’t do it on his own, as if he wanted to stay with Dongmin. Blushing, the older boy nodded and took a seat beside Bin on the carpet.

Their knees are touching, Moonbin’s hand occasionally spreading across the two expanses of their skin, tapping rhythmically or twirling his fingers around the short hairs on the black haired boy’s legs. His hand is hidden beneath the table, and Dongmin briefly wonders if Bin even realises he’s running his fingers up and down his thigh.

Dongmin wants to stay like this forever, maybe with his head in Bin’s lap, letting him card his fingers through his hair and over the curves of his body. Soon enough, though, as fate seems to have other plans, an argument is heard in the room over.

“I’m not the only one that can hear them, right?” Minhyuk asks bashfully, placing his piece down on the board.

_“You didn’t have to kick me and come close to making a big mess of everything!”_

“Should we check on them?” Bin asks, lifting his hand from Dongmin’s knee. _Damnit_.

_“I didn’t want anyone to ask questions – you’re a bit slow, you know?”_

The voices echo through the door, becoming louder and sharper, accusations cutting through the eldest two’s words. Dongmin had never heard Jinwoo yell, and none of the boys had ever fought over anything serious. Once, Sanha picked a fight with Moonbin because there was no juice left – as it turns out, Myungjun drank it anyway.

“We should go see if they’re okay,” Dongmin agrees, sheepishly. He’s the first to stand, waiting for the others to join him by the door.

_“You could have said something about us without realising!”_

Wondering what on Earth that could possibly mean, Dongmin turns the handle and swings the door open without any notice. Myungjun seems grumpy, face pinched toward the centre, large lips pouting and arms crossed over his chest. Absurdly, Jinwoo stands with his top half naked, shirt clutched in his hand, knuckles white.

“Is everything okay?” Minhyuk asks quietly, though it sounds terribly confused.

Jinwoo stumbles out of his stupor, straightening up and tugging his shirt on over his head. “Everything is fine,” he says, glancing at Myungjun, who looks away. “There’s no need to worry about anything,” he smiles gently.

The youngest four, unsure of what to do, and quite confused, nod and step away from the door. Jinwoo shuts it behind them, and their gentle muttering can hardly be heard behind the wooden barrier. The awkward air in the room settles as Sanha says, “That was weird.”

Minhyuk agrees, “Very.”

That night, as Dongmin drags the covers over Bin’s body and puts his glasses on his bedside table, Bin asks, “What do you think they were fighting about, Minnie?”

Dongmin remains standing, grasping tightly onto the cage frame that prevented Bin from falling out of his bed in the middle of the night. He swings on it, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. Do you?”

“ _’You could have said something about us’_ ,” Bin quotes, letting his eyes flutter shut. “Maybe they have a secret,” he offers, fatigue lacing his voice. “They should just tell us their secret, we would understand.”

Dongmin ponders this. He has secrets. Quite a few, and most of which he doesn’t believe the group would quite understand. Especially poor Moonbin, the object of Dongmin’s fantasies and the very reason his secret is kept tucked neatly away in the furthest corner of his heart. “Everyone has secrets, and no one has to share them,” Dongmin replies, patting Bin’s hair back, away from his eyes.

“You’d tell me if you had a secret, right?” Bin asks, eyes struggling to remain open. They meet Dongmin’s for a long moment, and Dongmin feels his chest tighten up at the younger boy’s stare.

“Possibly,” he laughs, feeling guilt like a heavy stone in the bottom of his gut.

“Then, I would _possibly_ tell you my secrets,” Bin remarks, mocking an edge of offense to his voice.

“You have secrets?” Dongmin raises his eyebrows, standing on the tips of his toes. Moonbin grins, but quickly conceals his cheeky smirk with his duvet.

“Everyone has secrets,” Bin quotes Dongmin from moments before. “I think there’s a right place and time for these secrets,” he adds, closing his eyes again.

Dongmin takes this advice as a goodnight. Pulling the duvet closer up toward Moonbin’s neck, he whispers a goodnight, before sliding into his bed underneath.

Thoughts of Moonbin’s well kept secrets plague Dongmin’s mind, before he can sleep. The boy above him snores softly, and it’s that sound that, eventually, lulls him into a deep slumber.

 

+

Dongmin feels a sharp sting in his throat, a warm moisture on his forehead, a sticky tack-like sensation to the backs of his eyelids; and strangely, a heavy weight across his waist. Fighting his heavy eyelids, Dongmin manages to open his eyes, to meet Moonbin’s face, ever so close to Dongmin’s peering down at him curiously from where he straddles his waist.

In the next few moments, Dongmin hears his alarm ringing, a sharp whistle repeating in his ear, getting more annoying with each rhythmic roll. He feels a sharp blush prickle up his neck and over his face, as Moonbin’s hands rest over his chest, nose so close to touching Dongmin’s that if Dongmin moved barely a centimetre, their noses would collide.

Dongmin doesn’t want Bin to leave. “Moonbin! Get off, what are you doing?” He bellows, as it’s the more appropriate course of action to take. Blushing, Bin stumbles off from around his waist, switching off the alarm and collapsing onto the floor beside Dongmin’s bed. “Aren’t _I_ supposed to be the one that wakes you up?”

“Sure, but I woke up first, because you hadn’t shut off this stupid alarm!” Bin cries, bobbing his head around, complaining. He stomps his foot against the ground. “Are you okay? I think you have a fever,” he hurries his words, placing the back of his hand over Dongmin’s sweating forehead. It makes the older boy blush in embarrassment.

“I’m fine, Binnie. Let’s go make coffees for everyone,” he assures, swiping his blankets off his bed. Seemingly unsure, Bin offers his hand out and takes Dongmin’s, securing his safety as he steps out of the lower bunk. Dongmin takes his first step, feeling ridiculous being babied by his junior, before the room starts to spin and he falls back into the strong arms that secured his fall.

“I told you,” Bin mutters with a roll of his eyes, and gently places Dongmin back down onto his bed, tugging his blankets up. He quickly retreats, and comes back a few minutes later with a wet washcloth and a leader. Kneeling beside the bed, Bin presses the cool cloth to Dongmin’s forehead, smoothing it out with his fingers.

“Enough, Moonbin. Get ready for practice, go,” Jinwoo tells him, leading him out of the bedroom. Sitting beside the bed, Jinwoo looks down over Dongmin, “Are you okay, Dongmin?” he asks gently, smiling softly.

“I guess I’m poorly? I don’t know,” Dongmin sighs, tugging on the ends of his hair. He couldn’t afford to miss more practice sessions – he was already exhausted running back and forth between the dorm, the studio, and wherever else his separate and packed schedule lead him. He feels guilt tremble up his spine, followed by a quake of fear.

Jinwoo smiles tightly, feeling his neck, wincing at the hot temperature. “You should stay here, today. I will too, to take care of you,” he grins softly.

“But-,” Dongmin would feel awful keeping the leader back from his practice. Dongmin could take care of himself, anyway. He wasn’t Sanha’s age, anymore.

“It’s my duty as leader,” Jinwoo interrupts. “Rest for a while. I’ll check on you occasionally.” With that, Jinwoo up and leaves the room, ushering Moonbin away from the door.

A few hours later, Jinwoo offers to make Dongmin some soup, to help him heal faster. Being in the dorm without Moonbin, and unwell, made Dongmin realise how little he had to do. Being an idol consumed his life, besides the minutes he got at home, chatting quietly with Moonbin, or playing games with Moonbin, just _being with Moonbin_.

Being away from the boy of his dreams, with nothing to do, made Lee Dongmin ponder whether he should just confess to Moonbin, or not. The secret, balancing on the tip of his tongue, as of late, was beginning to hurt (even more) in his heart. If anything, Dongmin believes he would feel relief more than pain, if he just confessed and got the situation over and done with. His only problem – he didn’t know how to make it clear to Bin that he was head-over-heels in love with the boy. He believes warming Bin to the idea would be better than an outright and shocking confession.

Jinwoo, enters from the opposite room, sets his soup down in front of him, a bright smile on his face. As Dongmin eats his meal, he wonders if his leader is the right person to confide in for such a matter. Jinwoo was definitely someone to seek advice from, most of the time. Would Jinwoo be overly concerned if Dongmin brought up his love life? Would he be intrigued, and ask a billion questions?

Jinwoo is playing on his phone, when he asks the question. “Can I ask your advice, on a secret?” Dongmin asks, sheepishly looking away.

Jinwoo seems surprised, eyebrows raised and eyes focused. He takes on the role of a leader with grace. “Sure.”

Taking a deep breath, collecting the words in his head, Dongmin asks, “I… What do you do if the person you like doesn’t like you back?” Jinwoo’s jaw drops a little, and suddenly afraid that Jinwoo will discover the reasoning behind such a question, Dongmin blurts out a lie. “I’m writing a song, that’s why.” He smiles, hoping it passes for a real grin.

Jinwoo’s eyes flutter shut, and when they open, he’s looking up at the ceiling. “Well, let them know how special you are. Help them out when they need it, and always be ready to listen or share. Give them things, like sweets or cups of coffee. Always smile, and hold eye contact. Laugh at their jokes – stuff like that. Always support them, I guess,” he rambles, a smile that holds many memories dancing on his lips.

“Thank you, Jinwoo,” he nods.

 _Give them things. Always support them._ Dongmin takes this advice, folding the words over and over in his head. This is how he’ll go about his confession, he decides.

 

+

Step One: Buy Moonbin some food, of course.

It’s a list in Dongmin’s mind, that leads other ideas such as, ‘Encourage new dance moves’ and ‘Congratulate him when he hits that high note he always struggles with’.

“Binnie, would you like some ramen?” He asks, leaning over the back of the couch. Moonbin is horizontal on the sofa, tapping away at his screen in a rhythm game of some sort.

“Yes, please, Dongmin,” he replies, peering over the edge of his phone to smile widely at the older boy.

“Which flavour? I’m going out to buy some.”

Moonbin raises his eyebrows, shutting off his phone and tucking it into his pocket. Swiftly, he sits up, and Dongmin ducks away so their heads don’t collide abysmally. “Can I come?”

Dongmin’s heart flutters at the thought, dozens of butterflies dancing around in his belly. Time alone with Moonbin on their half-day, away from everyone else; it felt like a blessing. “Of course.”

Together, they put their coats and shoes on, and leave the house. The sun is hidden behind grey skies, but they haven’t opened to pour rain on the two, so Dongmin is content. They walk side by side in comfortable silence, face masks covering the lower halves of their faces, Bin’s cap pulled down over his eyes.

Neither of them say anything, until they’re in the convenience store, picking which ever flavour they’d like.

“You don’t like spicy things,” Moonbin observes the packet in Dongmin’s hands closely, slender finger prodding against the chili symbol. He picks up an almost identical bowl, though this one has _MILD_ printed on it instead. He hands it to Dongmin with a smile.

“Thank you, Binnie,” Dongmin smiles, holding the food close to him as he waits for Moonbin to pick his own, which is often a difficult and time consuming task. However, Dongmin is willing to wait, to watch the lines of determination crease over Bin’s forehead, watch him tap his finger against his chin as his indecisive side blooms.

Eventually, he picks up a cheese flavoured one, and Dongmin pays for their meals. “Thank you for this meal, Minnie,” Bin grins, already digging in at the table for two.

Taking a deep breath, Dongmin knows how he wants to reply. He’d been practicing lines in his head, in preparation for a date with Moonbin, in case it ever happened. And whilst this wasn’t a date, Dongmin figured it was close enough. “Anything for my Moonbin,” he giggles, a blush tingling on the apples of his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

Moonbin grins widely, pink cheeks squishing upwards into his eyes. “Ever the cutest, Dongmin,” he retaliates sweetly. Dongmin feels his stomach erupt into a thousand pretty pink butterflies, all fighting their way around his stomach. His heart is throbbing, reaching out for the boy that sits opposite him.

Collecting his composure, Dongmin glances over at Bin’s meal. “Cheese? That sounds weird. Does it taste good?” He asks, peering into the plastic dish.

“It tastes delicious,” Bin replies, pushing his chopsticks into the noodles. “Try some,” he offers, pushing his bowl into the centre of the table. Dongmin smiles, reaching his chopsticks over into Bin’s bowl, but Moonbin bats them away. Instead, he lifts his chopsticks and grabs a small handful, guiding it over to Dongmin’s mouth.

 _Will he feed me?_ Dongmin wonders to himself, heart beating faster in his chest. He opens his mouth, expectant. _How romantic_ , he blushes, as Moonbin scoops the noodles into his mouth. Dongmin tastes the cheesy noodles, humming in pleasure. “Hmmm, that is delicious,” he grins.

“You have to pay me back, now,” Bin chuckles, opening his mouth expectantly. Giggling, Dongmin grasps some of his own noodles between his chopsticks and carefully feeds Moonbin, whose face is pink and smiling. Dongmin feels like they are a couple, in this brief moment, in a secluded corner of the convenience store, feeding each other ramen.

He pulls out his phone, typing a quick note inside. _Moonbin feeds me cheesy ramen in the corner of a convenience store. I fall in love with him even more._ Preserving the memory, Dongmin sets a time stamp.

“Whatcha writing?” Bin asks, attempting to peer over to Dongmin’s screen. Embarrassed, Dongmin quickly pockets his phone and smiles gently at Moonbin. Changing the subject, the younger boy suggests, “We should go to the park.” It’s an absurd request; Dongmin hadn’t been to a park since his first year of high school. It’s a place for children.

“That’s crazy. Besides, Jinwoo will be expecting us home, soon,” Dongmin declines, folding his rubbish up neatly.

Moonbin whines, “Come on, Minnie. I haven’t been to a park in years, and we have a half-day! We have all afternoon to do whatever we want. Please, take me to a park,” he begs, clasping his hands together.

Those big, round eyes with those long, fluttering eyelashes are the first thing that makes Dongmin give in. The second, is Bin’s pouting lips. The third thing, is the way he repeats, _Please, Minnie, Please_ over and over like a mantra. Finally, Dongmin throws their rubbish away, and Moonbin leads them down the street toward the closest park.

It’s swarmed with children, climbing over each other on the climbing frame. There’s a small pathway the leads into the greenery. Dongmin can see couples lounging on the grass, picnic baskets before their feet. As the pair walk side-by-side, shoulders pressed together, Dongmin feels, once again, like they’re a couple, on a date to the park.

There’s trees lining the end of the path, low hanging like an archway, and the two make their way into the forestry. Suddenly, they’re completely alone. They’re alone for a long time, maintaining idle chatter between them, until Moonbin pulls them to the top of the hill in a breaking of trees.

The hill looks out over the park, and tall buildings stretch over their heads, lights flickering atop as the sky begins to darken. It’s a secluded place, a quiet one. A spot just for them. Moonbin is already laying down, splayed out on the soft grass with his coat underneath him. Dongmin eyes the scenery, taking it all in.

Beside him, is the love of his life. Around him, is a beautiful garden. “How did you find this place? I thought you hadn’t been to a garden in years…”

“Sometimes I sneak out,” Bin confesses immediately, shutting his eyes. “To clear my head. In the middle of the night.”

Dongmin lowers himself onto the grass, sitting beside him. The clouds are starting to clear, opening up to a pink-tinged sky. “To clear your head?” Moonbin has secrets, Dongmin remembers.

Moonbin doesn’t answer his question, instead rolling onto his side and facing Dongmin. “Lay down,” he mutters, patting the grass beside him. Dongmin shuffles down, hands on his nervous belly, and tilts his head to watch Moonbin, who glances up at the pink sky.

The younger boy draws in a deep breath, letting out a heavy sigh. “Have you ever wanted to tell someone a big secret? One that could ruin your life?”

Dongmin knows this feeling all too well. “Of course.”

“I trust you. Can I tell you my life-ruining secret?” Bin asks, one hand drawn over his face like blinds over a window.

Dongmin pulls a deep breath in through his lungs, making his belly rise. It calms his heart, letting it slow down. “Only if I can tell you mine, too.” Moonbin, startled, flicks his head over to Dongmin, eyes wide. “You go first,” Dongmin blushes, looking up at the clouds. “I need some time. I didn’t think I’d have to say this to anyone for a while,” he smiles softly.

Moonbin nods. It takes one, long minute, before he even makes a noise. Dongmin doesn’t realise that the younger boy is crying, until he mutters a sentence through tears, “I like boys.”

And, just like that, the pair of best friends are sobbing together, on top of a hill, in the middle of the big city. Dongmin shuffles closer, connecting their hands. Anything to support Moonbin, who said the words he was going to say himself.

“So do I,” Dongmin confesses, feeling a heavy, dark weight fly off his chest and be carried away by the breeze. Moonbin squeezes his hand tightly, as another sob wracks his body.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you tell _me_?” They both laugh at this, wiping their tears away with their free hands. Sniffling, they try to stop themselves from crying, tucking the sad emotion into their back pockets. Save it, maybe, for a day when it’s actually raining.

Moonbin sits up, disconnecting their hands. He pulls his cap off his head, ruffles his hair, and shoves it back on. “This wasn’t how I wanted to say this…” He starts, and Dongmin slowly sits up, too, awaiting another confession. “I really like you, Lee Dongmin. I’ve liked you for almost as long as I’ve known you.”

There’s a long silence between them, filled with the distant babbling of children and the constant, smooth rush of cars. Dongmin can’t say anything, brain in overload trying to comprehend the sentence Bin had just uttered.

“Dongmin, please, _say something_ ,” Bin cries, choking on his own words.

Within an instant, Dongmin leaps onto the younger boy, enveloping him in a tight hug. “You like me?!” He cries, and when Moonbin nods gently against his chest, Dongmin pulls away. “I… I like you, too. Since the day you taught me your dance, Moonbin.” Bin grins beneath him, hands wrapping around his back and clutching at the bottom of his coat.

“Can… Can this…” Moonbin begins, sliding upward so the pair are face-to-face. “Can this be Day One?”

Dongmin giggles, “Of course, Binnie,” he grins, pressing a kiss to the boy’s forehead.

 

+

Frustrated, Dongmin throws his pencil against his desk. He can’t look for his boyfriend for help – he was writing a song for him, as a surprise, and asking Moonbin would very well ruin the surprise. Dongmin leaves their bedroom, in search of a bandmate. Sanha is on the living room floor, sprawled out on his back and humming along to a song on the radio.

Leaning over him, Dongmin asks for help, “Can you help me write a love song? I’ve got no inspiration,” he lies, bringing his hands together in front of him.

“As if I could give you good advice!” The youngest whines, thrashing his legs about. Dongmin sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Go seek out the oldest ones – they’re together, they’re bound to be able to give you some love-song advice. That’s how Jinwoo wrote all his love songs, anyway,’ he drawls, rolling his eyes.

Dongmin takes a step back, stunned. “Wait… What?” He asks, incredulous.

Sanha’s eyes widen, almost popping out of his skull, comically, upon realising what he’d said. “I didn’t say anything!!” He screeches, pointing a finger of warning at Dongmin. A finger that says _If you dare tell anyone…_

“It was kind of hard to miss… Jinwoo and Myungjun are dating?!” Dongmin cries, soudninf exasperated. Dongmin felt both a wave of relief and confusion roll over him. If he and Moonbin weren’t the only couple in the dorm, they had another couple to fall back on. Yet, how hadn’t he noticed this, all along?

Sanha slams a hand over Dongmin’s mouth, dragging him into the four-person bedroom. On the top bunk, the two in mention were snuggled together under the duvet, half-asleep with their foreheads pressed together and arms wrapped around each other’s waists.

Dongmin knew, immediately, he was in for one hell of a ride.

 

+

Bin cheers as the eldest two confess to himself and Minhyuk, the only two left out of the loop. He collects both of them, one at a time, wrapping them up in his arms. Dongmin doesn’t miss the look that washes over Moonbin’s face as he stares at his boyfriend – that same confused yet utterly relieved expression that Dongmin had maintained only minutes prior.

Moonbin pulls him away into the kitchen, rubbing at his temples as if he had a migraine. “I heard that right, right?” He shakes Dongmin by his shoulders, a shocked expression on his face. When the older boy nods, he sighs, resting his head in the crook between Dongmin’s neck and shoulder. “I don’t know whether to feel relieved or shocked,” he mutters, breath fanning against Dongmin’s collarbones.

“What do we do, now?” The black haired boy asks, patting Moonbin’s hair. “Should we just tell them about us, too?”

“I like it when you say ‘us’,” Bin giggles, craning his neck up to press a long, soft kiss against Dongmin’s lips. He hums as their lips slot together, and lets his hands fall to Dongmin’s waist. Dongmin’s hands find their way into his boyfriend’s hair, tangling in the brown locks.

“You taste like candy,” Dongmin comments as they part for a moment to catch their breaths. Foreheads pressed together, their breaths mingle between them. Moonbin is about to explain exactly why he tastes so sweet, when a groan is heard from beside them.

“This explains a lot,” Jinwoo comments, smirk on his lips.

The couple dart apart, and Dongmin blinks, dazed. “What? What explains a lot?” Moonbin cocks his head to the side, and Dongmin wishes he were anywhere but in that kitchen, right now.

“The song… The love advice… The way you always blushed whenever Moonbin spoke to you, _especially_ just after you two met,” Jinwoo teases, pinching Dongmin’s bright red cheeks. Bin giggles, about to tease Dongmin, too, when Jinwoo turns to him. “Don’t think I didn’t catch you staring at Dongmin all the time, or muttering his name in your sleep, Bin,” the leader laughs, and the bellowing calls the rest of the group into the kitchen, where Dongmin and Moonbin are on opposite sides of the room, with bright red faces.

“Are you guys together as well?” Minhyuk asks, eyes wide. As the couple awkwardly send each other a glance, his mouth splits into a beaming grin. “We have such a happy household,” he smiles. Phone tucked away in his pocket, he now has his full attention on the newly announced couple.

That night, as Moonbin curls up beside Dongmin on the lower bunk, he presses a kiss to his temple. “I spoke to Manager,” he smiles, lips curving upwards against Dongmin’s skin. The older boy puts his book down, turning to face his boyfriend. “What do you want to do tomorrow, for our 100-day celebration?” He grins, pulling Dongmin flush against him and connecting their lips, in a long, chaste kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey hey i hope you enjoyed this sickening fluff its midnight but i got carried away i wrote 5k of this in one afternoon im tired and hungry if you liked it pls tell me bc i really want to add a sanha pov part bc... in case you havent noticed... hes up to something... and i want you guys to SEE that omg


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